The Joke's On You...

So I call the child support bureau and state I didn't receive the child support I was suppose to this week. Then they tell that joke that you know they all must keep tally of somewhere of how many times they have said it to share with their friends. "You need to contact the father..." Oh ho ho... funny... If I could contact him why would I be contacting you? If I could speak to him without wanting to strangle him, scratch out his eyes or rip out his heart I don't think this child support thing would be an issue.

There has to be a better way for these people to do this. If you could trust the man to pay it in the first place this agency wouldn't really be all that needed. I know now a days it must be hard for some women to keep up with what baby daddy paid what, or saying they aren't getting when they are, but I know personally and most people I know would just be happy to get what they are awarded without having to drag it out with threats. I actually had to threaten mine with jail time to get him to start paying and now he isn't again. I waited over 2 years before I told him I was over being nice, and he could sit in jail for all I cared. (And f he thinks he has under the jail time amount he is very sadly mistaken. $40 dollars a month over 4 or 5 months does not pay off a near $7,000 debt.)

So there must be a better way to do this. I don't think it should be a state thing, it should be a federal thing. I know the IRS does get involved at some point, but at what point I have no idea. I know that they can keep better tabs on my ex in Alabama than Indiana can. Indiana does try as much as they can I guess (not much) but with all the men not paying it must be hard to keep tabs on any one case. Their information comes from the federal government or from the tip line of people turning in the fathers and occasional mother. I think the states should still determine the amounts awarded, but the tracking and enforcing should be federal. Mine gets tips so that he doesn't have to report them or "give them to me" as he would say. That's why he's a deadbeat pizza boy. I laugh now because most tips are left on the debit cards I would think. My husband and I don't even carry cash any more, neither do most people we know.

In my opinion if they weren't trying to not pay the support there would be nothing to hold them back from having a relationships with their child, and that is the most important part of all this. It isn't the money, it's the kids. So if there were a better way for the government to get the money for the kids, there wouldn't be a reason for the fathers to be trying to hide from the mothers who have the kids. Everyone wins in the long run if there were a better system.

Sexual Side Effects May Include…

By now most of us have heard about have heard about the Olympic swimmer Dara Torres, the 41 year old who qualified for her 5^th Olympics and broke her own record. Now instead of celebrating her victory people want to say there is no physical way a woman her age can do that so she just HAS TO BE using drugs (You know because we are all suppose to have spread out by then and be steadily approaching Grandma Moses speed). It made me think, if this was a man would this even be an issue? I know there has to be one out there somewhere that has qualified many times although none are coming to mind. The women of sports are still breaking new ground every year, and in many ways are still looked down upon by their male counterparts. I think the worst male opinions of female athletes come from the ones that couldn't run a mile if there were a keg of beer and a ribeye steak waiting at the end for them.

I think just because she did very well some people are jealous. Well I can't do that so there is no way anyone else could. If that is the case all of them should be tested (which aren't they anyway?) I know I couldn't do anything any of them do. Should I belittle their accomplishments for that reason? No. I write better than a lot of people. A lot of writers write better than me. I can swim, but mostly just enough to save my life. I once served a volleyball game within one point of victory against members of the school volleyball team of which I was not a member. (I didn't try for it, that ball is painful on my stick arms.) I was a member of the color guard my senior year, but I would say a good 75% of the time I dropped my rifle during competitions. I was a rifle expert in the Marine Corps. My husband and I are tied at the Bass Pro Shop target arcade in shooting matches. (He won't go back; I think he thinks I am going to win again. I asked him once if it was better just to stay tied and he said yes.)

No matter what it is, there is always going to be someone better, and we should congratulate them for it. It is how it is, and we should just accept that fact.

You’re Insufficient

Going through an old topic list for my blog and I found one about insufficient funds fees that was connected to an earlier blog about check being cashed a month and an half after I had written it. It had wrecked my finances only a week or two before Christmas. My friend just had the same issue because of a miscalculation, but it did remind me to write this post. Shortly after the checked cashed and the Burger King bounced, (here's that post) I realized what all had went wrong. The credit to my account that was suppose to be in there didn't post for at least a week after I had returned an item even though of course they took the money out of my account the very instant I purchased it. Well I had also needed gas that night when I had returned that item, but I should have had money in the account because there was not suppose to be check. So I got charged $25 for -$0.63. Then I also got charged for gas another $35 fee plus the $20 or so for the actual gas. I want to know what gives people and banks the right to charge such outrageous fees on people that obviously didn't have the money in the first place for them to charge extra to. With all the technology and tracking of information we have now, they can know who the serial offenders are and who just made an honest mistake and who just got hosed for someone else being wrong.

This brings me to the next point. Your bank charging you a fee when you cash a check from someone else and it bounces. What the hell kind of bull shit is that? I have know people whose pay checks have bounced and they have already paid their bills with it before it had came back is bounced. I am sure you can guess what, but I will say it anyway. They get charged a fee for the bounced pay check, all the money from the check is taken away, the checks for the other bills bounce, and they get charged a fee for each of the bounced bills, and not only does that happen once, but it keeps happening because the people they owe their bills too keeps trying to cash the check and each time they get an additional fee. It doesn't matter either, everyone says oh just call, you bill people understand. That is a load of crap and most of them are just out to make money so why should they help you. Even if you do call, oh they didn't get the word in time or some other form of hogwash but they don't stop trying to cash it. You can tell them to toss the check you will send another, guess what. They don't, they cash them both. They think just because they post a little warning that they should be allowed, but I think it is wrong. Why should a person be charged by the bank and the retailer for an honest mistake? $0.63 in the red cost me well over $60.00, and if you don't call a 2 ½ month old check an honest mistake I don't know what is.

We Are All Doomed...

Or at least that is how we should feel if you watch the news. My husband was consistently reading about the economic failures of our society and telling me about it. Two weekends ago I finally said "You know what? I don't care." I was sick of hearing him tell me the world is coming to an end, the news telling me we are all doomed to suffer from this country's economic dilemma. I think he got the hint and stopped telling me about it. Then this weekend what is the topic of his family's visit? You guessed it. If you didn't, the economy, and who is heading the doom and gloom conversation? He's mother. She is an expert because she saw it on the news. Personally I think she too gullible to watch so much TV. She even tried telling us all how we are about to start a war with Iran because of our ships in the Persian Gulf. I tried explaining to her there is ALWAYS ships in the Persian Gulf, that a MUE leaves every 6 months and that is where they go. Well she knows what she saw and I am just wrong. HELLO WOMAN, I think I should know they leave every 6 months. Their last stop is Camp Lejeune before heading across the ocean. I have personally been on the beach when they left and came back, and have had phone calls from the beach as they were about to board. They have to pick up their Marines. Of course, no one backs me up. Then she goes back to all our money woes, and I guess someone mentioned a change of subject. (My guess her husband because he gets tired of talking about money just as much as I do.) but she informs us all this is what all families are discussing around the family table. So let her live in her hell, and I went back to laying on the grass with my son thinking you all don't have anything to worry about because you don't have anything anyway. They and the media are waiting for the next Crash and until then are trying to freak the rest of the populous out.

Why don't I care? It will happen if is going to and there is nothing as citizens we can do about it. I would say buy American, but hardily anything is wholly American anymore and if it is it is expensive as hell and who can afford it with the prices of everything else. All we can do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best. (Isn't that a motto somewhere?) So how do you prepare? Buy a few extra cans when you go to the grocery store of vegetables and meats. If you have a way of storing dry goods, do it. Learn the lost art of canning. My husband grew up on a farm without electricity, so why him and his mother are freaking out I have no idea. At least they know how to store food, most of us don't. Plant a garden if you have a yard. If you don't you can still plant them in pots, what better way to decorate then with your own edible foliage? Maybe have a little petty cash stored some where.

Worrying about this doesn't help or fix anything. I'm not saying completely ignore it either, but if you are prepared then you'll be ready for whatever may come.

@rocketmail.com

The first e-mail address I ever had was through Rocketmail. A couple years later Yahoo! took them over, and then a short time after that the addresses where phased out. Today I found that I can now open a new Rocketmail or Ymail account through Yahoo! in what I am guessing is an attempt for people to stop having to be the 1 million sweetie something, now you can be THE sweetie, but only if you act now! I say having to because it seems that a number of the world's population cannot come up with something original for a screen name, but how many originals can you REALLY have before you have to start doubling up? I'm a little ticked off, I have several e-mail accounts from different applications and for several purposes, but the first I ever had was gotten rid of for me. Now they are opening it back up. The name wasn't anything special but at the time it meant something to me, and hey it was my first. I can't remember the first yahoo account I had, but I have been using the same one for 10 years. Now after all that time I have to remember to type in the @yahoo.com...

On a Side Note: I am unable to get my old address back. Someone either already has it or my old address is floating around in there somewhere... now if only I could remember the password...

Remembering the Past

What caught and held my attention today wasn't anything on TV or in the news, although hearing George Carlin had died was a bit sad. No, what has me up at this hour posting instead of returning to bed is something most of us (most likely all of us) are guilty of, which is over analyzing our past. We try to change it in our minds, trying to tell ourselves that the reasons that we had done something were wrong, and if only I had done it this way instead my life would be 10 times better today. We paint ourselves these rosy pictures of would ofs and should ofs and are always better off in the end had we known then what we know now. We pummel ourselves for what now looks like the wrong thing and rarely just let it be what is which is our pasts and as such can do nothing to change it.

Here is an example. At this moment I am trying to figure out how to numb myself from the T5 down and telling myself I knew I should have told that Corpsman¹ the chit² she wrote was bullshit instead of taking it and storming out. At the time I was stationed in 29 Palms, California, in the middle of a desert on the side of a mountain, and upon acceptance of her findings this left in my hand a chit stating I was not to run on sand or hills... I did what all of us probably do in most medical situations and what the doctor says is it or in some cases so shocked you don't know what to say or do for fear of violence. The thing is I knew there was something legitimately wrong with me and the chit she wrote told my Instructor that there wasn't and he proved daily that he thought I was a PoS³ that deserved to be run into the ground. You would hope in your heart of hearts that he would have been more understanding and could just tell there was something wrong but there is a reason for that chit. Personnel fresh from bootcamp and MCT⁴ arrive at MOS⁵ school and decide I have done nothing but run and PT⁶ my ass off (literally in some cases) and I want a break so I'm going to say that my ankle hurts or whatever and get out of PT for a couple of days or weeks. Thus was born the 'this guy is faking' chit, and now I had one. So I was pissed, and we ran back and forth on the same stretch of flat road one time, then oh well you can run this hill, it has pavement, then the mountain runs, which honestly I would have found really fun, except for the fact by the time I got back to my barracks my ankle was purple and the size of one of those small basketballs. Was it the Instructor's fault? Absolutely not. Was it all the Corpsman fault? Honestly I can't say that either. I didn't stand up for myself, and I was the pig headed fool when the chit ran out in a couple of weeks that didn't go back to BAS⁷ and say I was still in pain for fear I would get another bs chit. After a few months of running on one bum ankle and compensating on the other I moved up the hill to a new Instructor. The platoon Sgt told the Instructor there was really something wrong with me and should be forced to go BAS, which I was, and now I had what the bone doctor at the hospital and the therapist accidently tells me are double ankle train wrecks. After a couple years of therapy the left one doesn't get any better, I am sent packing with a medical discharge with other injuries due to ankle instability, and wishing every day of my life I would have told that Corpsman she was wrong and I wouldn't have been so pig headed about getting myself taken care of.

Best case scenario had I told her off, I would still be a Marine loving my job. But what about the other hand?

Here is the point of this blog, we always think things will come out on the rosy side, but what if it hadn't? I could have gotten fixed in school, and by the time I had gotten to my duty station I would have been great and ready to go (instead of being sent back to the shop or to the truck). I would have been sent overseas and I might have come home with worse injuries than pain filled joints or I might not have come back at all.

There is another one we always want to change… our love lives. Oh I wish I wouldn't have dumped him, because my life would be great now. The fact of this analyzing is that we either are single and lonely or perhaps we had a tiff with our current love and think well so and so would have agreed with me. Maybe if I had of done things this way he wouldn't have acted that way. Abused women never remember the pain of being hit, but they remember the ways he apologized, and go back thinking well if he was that sweet he must have meant he wouldn't hit me again. I remember watching a program on photography and one photographer interviewed showed photos she had taken of herself months later after being hit where she was still bruised all over her face. She had to pull out the pictures to remind herself not to go back to him. We have a way of shoving away the pain and remembering the way we felt those first couple of months where when he winked you giggled like a school girl or when he snored all night keeping you awake but it was the cutest thing in the world. We forget the ways they ignored us or lied to us almost every weekend about oh how much they loved and missed us but they were always too busy with something else to spend time with us. The way he never said thank you or notices the things you do for him but you just know he appreciates it. Or how you stayed up all night or weekend thinking he was dead because he said he would call or come over and he was a no show. We always turn everything into our own faults too. Oh if I hadn't lingered those extra few seconds to look at this one item he wouldn't have lost me in the crowd for hours.

Let's face it people, there are reasons we do the things we do. Everything happens for a reason in my opinion. Had my ex not been crazy (literally) I wouldn't have joined the military. If I wouldn't have joined the military I wouldn't have met my ex husband and my daughter wouldn't be here, but also my joints would still be intact. If I wouldn't have been a disabled veteran perhaps my views and opinions wouldn't be what they are today thus I wouldn't have had that much in common with my husband, and we wouldn't have hit it off as well as we did. I would have blown him off and end up waiting for a guy that in the end would have run off to do what he does best which is being single.

There is a reason you gave him up, and you may tell yourself you were just being scared of going to the next step, but if you allow yourself to remember honestly you would know you had a reason to be scared and it wasn't because you have commitment issues, it is because you knew deep down somewhere it would continue the way it was as long as you were with him.

¹Corpsman

An enlisted person in the U.S. Navy or Marines who has been trained to give first aid and basic medical treatment.

²chit

doctor's note

³PoS

piece of sh*t

⁴MCT

Marine Combat Training, which teaches the rest of us none infantry folk the basics because you are always a Marine first and your MOS second.

⁵MOS

military occupational specialty

⁶PT

Physical Training

⁷BAS

Battalion Aid Station, or medical (It’s like a nurse’s office in school on a larger scale.)

Flying Cars

In this day and age everyone thinks we should be living like The Jetsons, with the most important invention not yet created being the flying car. Am I the only one that thinks this is a HORRIBLE idea? I understand the conveniences that an invention like this could provide, direct routes, faster commutes, and less traffic, unless you can recall The Jetsons and their skyways, their traffic was as bad as LA! I would love to have my husband home sooner from work and leaving later in the mornings, but I see many more disadvantages that an invention like this would cause. Are the people that want these inventions actually paying attention to what is going on our roads or are they too busy on their cell phones or perhaps there mind has wander to that grand invention that would take them in to the great blue and away from all the hassles of paying attention to the other "morons" on the pavement? While down on the ground, I am the one dodging the cell phone users and daydreamers thinking to myself 'why, oh why did I bother to leave my house?' I know the question in most of your minds at this moment, and yes, I have used a cell phone while driving. I only use it if I have to i.e. I am running late for an appointment because someone in front of me was sending a text message while behind the wheel and has crashed into the elderly woman and now the texter is trying to blame the crash on her feeble old mind and not his utter lack of paying attention to anything beside that little vibrating communication device. Maybe the vibrations in his lap are why he wants the phone continually going off, but I digress. If an invention like this actually took off I wouldn't even be safe in my home anymore. I am sure there would be "skyways", but as of late there is at least once a month someone crossing the center divider and plowing into someone minding their lanes and/or telephone conversations. We also can't forget the 20 year old drunk in a Jetta that kills a semi driver because the courts didn't put her in jail for her first couple of offenses nor any of her little bar buddies and pothead friends. Maybe we can look forward to the flybys of teenage boys that no longer need to get their thrills by plowing through a corn field during the middle of the night but instead now are seeing how many people they can wake up before the cops catch up to them. Or maybe my house will be the next finish line for the Need for Speed crowd, which I am sure my ex would enjoy thoroughly. Then you have the insane exes and other folks that do not quite have all their marbles but yet still have their licenses. Small town Indiana isn't even safe from things that a deranged mind can do with a flying projectile, case in point this Plane Crash where an 8 year old little girl was killed by her own father in his attempt to get back at his ex and her family. People don't even need cars or licenses to wreak havoc on unsuspecting citizens, for example the teenagers on an overpass dropping rocks on passing cars. Yes, why not put those same teens stories above the ground and see what kind of damage that same rock will do. Or maybe the job of the crazy that goes to school and shoots up the place could be made just that much easier by just taking their flying car mach 1 straight into the building instead of walking up and down hallways. You may think those are just random instances that would not be normal everyday life, but even if these things do not effect you every day the fact is everyday someone tries to commit suicide, murder or some sort of crime, and this would make things a lot easier. Here is one that probably effects everyone everyday that they drive. The five people that run the light after it has turned red (Shelbyville Rd and New Lagrange Rd, Louisville) while the guy behind you is honking his horn because the light has turned green and one second has passed. The impatience and road rage would not end just because we are now floating in the heavens. More accidents would be tragedies. I for one am not looking forward to the day the mass of this or any other nation take to the skies above me or my family for their daily transportation.